When I was a young girl, I loved bike riding. I enjoyed the thrill of seeing how fast I could go, sometimes unaware of bumps in the road or some other object that would cause an instant crash. One crash I landed on the side walk. My knee was a bloody mess. Even though I did not require stitches, it took days if not a few weeks to heal. Mainly because I kept picking at the huge scab, not allowing it to heal on it’s own.
There are all kinds of wounds and afflictions we suffer from in life. Some can be taken care of by something so simple as an aspirin, while other things require time and surgery. Either way, it is God who brings healing in His way and in His time.
I’ve learned over the years that there are those who will continue to see you in your afflictions even though God has healed you. Why is this? I believe one reason is, as long as you are weak in their eyes, they get to look strong. Sometimes people just do not want to see you overcome.
Some people are just plain old scab pickers. They are the ones who the enemy of your soul will use to come along and open up old wounds after God has either healed or in the process of healing. I’ve pondered why they do this thing. I believe it is because they are not content with seeing you whole. They themselves have issues that keeps them in the dark and they love it so. You may even be trying to walk in the light with these people. God knows. Spending time and energy in edifying them, pointing them to the light/truth. You may even think they have been hanging on to every word you have spoken to them. Only to find out that what they have really done, is retained all they have learned about you in hopes of using it against you one day. While you are walking in the light with them, they are walking in the dark. Sound familiar?
I had this happen to me a few weeks ago. A friend (I use that term lightly) of over 40 years decided it was ok to take an old issue and try to open it up. IF I had given her the power, she would have been able to hurt me. However, I chose not to give her that power knowing God had already taken care of the very thing she was relishing in — a weakness I have had to overcome over the years. One where I did so with truth. And with trusted individuals God had/has put in my life. Obviously she was not one of them.
These people usually are manipulators, rarely walking in the light. I used to be very thin-skinned with such people. Not anymore. People can only hurt you IF you give them that power. When darkness comes against you, how can it have any power over you, if you are in the light? It can not.
How to deal with a scab-picker? Perhaps, the Word of God has a few things pertaining to this:
“Do not cast your pearls among the swine.”
This is when you are doing your best to be an edifyer to the person in question. You have lovingly and patiently done it over and over in hopes they get the message. The message is one of simple truth and light. However, there are those who still want to wallow around in the mud. When they refuse to listen or manipulate — we are to move on.
“Flee from all appearance from evil.”
Is it not evil when person in question is trying to manipulate? That is witchcraft, friend. Do not be entangled in it. Move on.
“If they do not hear you, then shake the dust off your feet and go on.”
Christians make a mistake when they continually over and over go around the same old mountain with some people. Unless you happen to like to play the martyr then by all means stay in that place of being used and abused. However, though God tells us to pick up our cross, to be a light, to help, etc., that does not mean we are to enable others. When we enable others, we are not pointing them to God, but to ourselves.
Scab pickers — like leeches — love to suck all the life out of you. If God has healed you in an area, and you know it to be true, do NOT give the scab pickers power in your life. After all, it was not the scab picker that died on the Cross for you.
Jul 08, 2012 @ 02:54:41
” Only to find out that what they have really done, is retained all they have learned about you in hopes of using it against you one day.”
Oh, my goodness, you have hit the nail on the head, Redeemed Hippie. I have had to deal with people like this in my life (one just recently) and that is exactly what happens. It’s encouraging to know that it’s Biblical to walk away and not have to continue to persevere with this situation. Thank you for this post.
Jul 08, 2012 @ 03:08:39
Rose3008, sometimes it is a sad thing to have to walk away, but it is the best thing to do. Especially when you find out is has been one game for them. One of manipulation (even we closed our eyes to it because we just did not want to see our “friend” in that light.) But at some point they make it so obvious and then is when I believe we are to walk away. Spend our energies, compassion and edifications where it counts, where it actually matter so someone, right?
Jul 08, 2012 @ 08:35:54
Yes, definitely right. I’ve spent a long time feeling guilty even considering doing what you suggest above but I’m slowly coming to see that it is okay to let go of toxic relationships, and people, and that I’m not their rescuer or their ark.
Jul 08, 2012 @ 12:20:35
>> RH: “there are those who will continue to see you in your afflictions even though God has healed you”.
When people consistently misbehave against you then you need to keep away from them or cease dialoging with them.
This misbehavior could include misrepresenting your character and motives, such as insisting your past deficiencies exist in the present.
RedeemedHippy, you also need to expect being accused of having “unresolved issues and hurts” as a way of discrediting your critiques against fraud in the church.
Such accusations are attempts to assert that your critiques are invalid because they only come from supposed unresolved hurts.
This type of accusation is indirectly an accusation against the God of Genesis 1:1 coming from the god of 2 Cor 4:4 (“the god of this age” – Satan).
To accuse God, Satan will just accuse God’s faithful followers.
Satan is the accuser of the brethren, eg. Rev 12:10
Satan is offended that he cannot be forgiven and escape eventual eternal damnation:
He instigates false teaching that denies eternal Hell so that people will end up there with him through following false gospels that include denial of Hell.
The indirect accusation against God is that he is judgmental and cannot forgive and this supposedly arises because God has “unresolved hurts” due to people rejecting him, his son being crucified on the cross, etc.
There are liars masquerading as Christian teachers/evangelists who openly deny the priority of Christianity around the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (the atonement) to reconcile sin for those who will repent and believe in order to have peace with God:
An example of an atonement denier is Brian McLaren: “Everything must change”, which is an assertion that the atonement gospel “must change” (change to suit Satan’s agenda).
See also Lighthouse trails about Brian McLaren.
Brian McLaren is a mouthpiece for Satan to promote a false gospel for a false Christ.
The accusation against the literal Bible stated gospel is that it comes from a false judgemental God who “cannot get over his hurts” and that eternal Hell is his “dysfunctional” method to punish those who will not believe in him and be faithful to his laws and counsels.
The atonement deniers assert that this God is unreasonable and so should not be believed in. They get around the Bible texts that refute them by asserting those texts are unreliable, the Bible has to be interpreted in a different way (their way), “everything must change”, etc.
So RedeemedHippy, when someone accuses you of having “unresolved hurts”, especially in regards to your critiquing activity, it is just an indirect accusation from Satan who is displeased with what you are exposing about his works within the church and the world.
Satan is the hurt one because he can never be forgiven and escape eventual eternal punishment.
It is too bad when some Christians start participating in deception and become a mouthpiece for the devils grievances, which is what your misbehaving “scab picking” ex-friends actually are.
You can rebuke them for being a mouthpiece for the devils counsel, then cease any further contact with them unless they come out of their deception.
my affliction and YOUR faithfulness – Lam 3:19-26
Now I keep your word – Psalm 119:65-68
Giving wicked advice – Eze 11:2,12
Do not be deceived – Luke 21:8
Contend for the faith – Jude 1:3-4
To look forward to – 1 Cor 2:9
RedeemedHippy special – Coll 1:13-14