Don’t get me wrong; I stand firmly behind my convictions. Yet, when my emotions are leading me, then I am not any better than those I have accused of witchcraft and manipulation within the church.
See, I never want my emotions leading me. I want to be led by the spirit of God. My passion for truth led me astray in some areas. If I have led any of you astray I am so very sorry. I ask that you forgive me.
I have spent the greater part of the past year being angry at those who present a different gospel. That anger turned to hate. Hate for those who have created a different Jesus. Some of you know. Some of you cared enough to point it out to me. You did it with a spirit of meekness and truth. You did it in gentleness. You showed me mercy. Had it not been for the few that cared enough about the Kingdom of God enough to address it, I still would be angry and miserable.
Do I regret my past posts on Tod Bentley? No, I do not. I still believe he is a devil in disguise and I will not sugar-coat that for anyone.
I have been alone. I desire fellowship. God knows. But sometimes, there is none when you are determined to not compromise the truth. The loneliness has at times, been unbearable. But I allowed myself to cope by being angry towards everyone except those who agree with me.
Are we suppose to somehow find common ground with those who are not testing things and fellowship anyway? I really don’t know the answer to that. I can only say what the Word of God says: how can two walk together unless they agree? So for myself all I can say is, I find it very hard to fellowship when another is not even willing to search a matter out because they fear confrontation.
Guess what? The truth brings confrontation, whether we like it or not.
I tell you honestly; I am tired. I am so weary of the evil abounding, I am so tired of deceivers, fakes, phonies, heretics, apostates–all within the church. I am sick of the world calling evil good and good being called evil. There have been times where it literally has brought my body down. Those of you who know me, know this is true.
IF I had turned to the Lord my God, this may or may not have happened, I don’t know. I am sure there are those in the Word Faith movement who would say I brought it on myself by daring to speak against God’s “anointed” people.
No. I don’t receive that. You don’t get to control me with that one. You don’t get to put that upon me. For even though I may have spoken in an unbridled manner at times–I spoke the truth. There are apostates out there deceiving the sheep and I will still warn the precious Bride of Christ.
Men like Tod Bentley will continue to deceive and lead others astray. Why? Because there are those who have no love for the truth. They blindly will follow any voice that makes them feel good or promise them goodies. There still will be those who will follow signs and wonders even when the Bible tells us not to. There still will be those who will chase after a false Jesus when the apostate leaders shout, “Come, he is here!” or “Go, he is there!” Why? Because they have chosen to believe lies and experiences over the Word of God. I can not do much about that. Neither can you. All we can do is be a trumpet.
But if my words are not tempered in agape love then I am nothing but a clanging cymbal. No better than some screeching woman on a rooftop crying out to her neighbors about the ill doings around her.
We are in the End times count down. We have north Korea threatening us. We have the world in constant turmoil. We have millions that need to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I do not want to spend all my time being focused on the likes of Tod Bentley.
I am reminded of Daniel:
Although I heard, I did not understand. Then I said, “My lord, what shall be the end of these things?” 9 And he said, “Go your way, Daniel, for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end. 10 Many shall be purified, made white, and refined, but the wicked shall do wickedly; and none of the wicked shall understand, but the wise shall understand. Daniel 12: 8
The wicked will keep doing wickedly. I go my way, now. Hopefully, the Spirit of truth leading me, hopefully being purified, made white and refined for His coming. You too, seek Jesus while it is yet day.
The Word is sharper the a two-eged sword. I was reminded of something on another blog (Thank you m’kayla):
Who proclaims peace,
Who brings glad tidings of good things,
Who proclaims salvation,
Who says to Zion,
“Your God reigns!”
Your watchmen shall lift up their voices,
With their voices they shall sing together;
for they shall see eye to eye
When the Lord brings back Zion.
Break forth in joy, sing together,
You waste places of Jerusalem!
For the Lord has comforted His people,
He has redeemed Jerusalem.
The Lord has made bare His holy arm
In they eyes of all the nations;
And all the ends of the earth shall see
The salvation of our God. Isaiah 52:7-10