My father bought me an electric guitar and amp when I was 11 years old. Dad played the guitar also, but he did not have much patience in trying to teach me. He taught me a few chords and a basic strum and that was about it. I was on my own and spent hours in my room teaching myself to play. I would listen to songs on the radio and have such a desire to play what I would hear. One song that stands out is Crimson and Clover. But, I could never learn, as much as I tried. So, I began writing my own songs at age 11.
At 15 my uncle loaned me his acoustic guitar and I began to write even more. I would take my guitar and go behind the garage and sit alone and compose music. My style of writing was folkish/protest.
I wrote a song called “Echoes” on that guitar. Part of the chorus was, “What will I have left when my friends and music are gone?” Which was kind of ironic, because at the time I didn’t have any friends. Being very shy and pretty much a loner. My best friend was music.
I look back at that song now and think how odd I would write something that would actually come to pass 40 years later. For as time went by, I never once in a million years would have thought life would have taken me down the road I am on now. Many things have happened I never expected. Many dreams shattered. Many relationships lost either through deaths or misunderstandings. Or simply for the fact that people move on. I no longer play my guitar and I have no more songs in me. And friends? Friends are very few and far in-between.
I say these things not out of self-pity, but only because perhaps there are others that have had the same thing happen to them. You have gotten older and you realize the things that you once held dear — either have passed on, or were stolen or taken from you, or you lost them somewhere along the way. In short: you just don’t know what happened or how.
But there is One who does know what happened.
Some of us have spent much time beating ourselves up. You may be wondering what you could have done differently — if anything. You may be wondering why God answered that prayer request with a “No.” You may even be beating yourself up over things you had no control of or not. If you are one of these people … you can stop now. Truly you can. The God in heaven who created you, loves you. You may be surprised where life has taken you, but God is not.
You may see youself as one big mistake. Man may even look at you as a failure. Man may want you to jump through hoops for them and there may have been a time where you would have done it. But now? Perhaps now, you are just too tired to even try. It may feel awful, but it’s a good place to be. Really it is. Because you see, you have reached the place where God wants you to be. A place where you have finally come to know that the only thing left is Him.
I may have no more songs left in me. But there is One who is the keeper of the music. He is singing over me right now. He sings over you too. Lift up your head to the One who understands and loves you like no other. Be still. He is waiting for you to hear the song He is singing over you.
The LORD your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.” — Zephaniah 3:17 —