Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom. — Psalm 51:6 —
It’s been months since my last writing. Not sure I can find the words to describe what has been going on with me since my brother passed away.
Some things have become more important and other things, less important. Family, being my top priority. Less important, politics of the world (though I can still get pretty riled up every now and then) and the ongoing apostasy within the Church.
For six years I have ran this blog exposing the manipulating man pleasing sugar coated occultic garbage coming out of the Church. I’m tired. Just as I have come to the conclusion that I have reached my zenith in playing guitar, never getting any better, so it is with other things I have given up on.
Perhaps, I am just a quitter or maybe it is God trying to lead me in a different direction. I don’t know.
I am finding the things I once had passion for, no longer interest me as much. My passion has became a curse. I am to blame. I could not control it. It became sin. Perhaps it was from the very beginning. God knows.
I knew this day would come. The day when all my resources would get burned out, literally burned out. At times I felt like a fire breathing dragon out of control. Anger raging in me such a way that felt more like something from the pit of hell, than a righteous anger of God.
Many of you came here, trying to show me, trying to reason with me. I saw it as weakness on your part. You were right, I was wrong.
More than once, I would wake up in the middle of the night so sickened of feeling like a complete failure to God, that I would go to the computer, sign on, come to this blog disgusted, wanting to delete it out of existence. But like everything else which touched my life, no peace about it. So I remained stagnant.
Perhaps I still am. God knows whether any good thing will come out of me or not.
In the meantime, just wanted the reader to know, I still appreciate those of you who pop in every now and then. I’m wanting to come back.
I want the dragon to die.