From Troll to Saint

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“Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit”,  says Lord of Hosts — Zechariah 4:6 —

The word troll — which I find repulsive — is used among homosexual men to describe themselves or one another, as age approaches, or as a way to describe those who go after sex partners.

My brother used it as slang for getting old. “I’m nothing but an old troll, now,” he would joke. However, I never laughed, telling him he was more than that.

We both were looking forward to being around for one another when we hit 60 years old. He, just 14 months younger than I. Our birthdays two months apart, our mother would have one birthday party between us when we were children.

Ricky and I spent time talking about aging. The pros and cons. Pro, being able to watch a movie or something and watching it again, not remembering it the first time, and finding it as a brand new event. Pro, reaching the age of knowing who true friends were. Pro, just being grateful we lived as long as we have, because some of our friends had already passed on. The biggest pro was being hopeful that age had made us a little wiser and not as stupid, as in our younger days.

The cons being how it sucked watching our bodies give in to the natural aging process, when a part of us still felt like we were in our 20s and early 30s. We joked about skin tags, getting out of breath, my having hair where once I didn’t. He loved that one! My losing bladder control when I got tickled, was his favorite and he would purposely do and say funny things, just so he could stand back to watch it happen!

Our joking about it, was our way of dealing with reality. I still let the aging process get to me more than he did. He used to tell me, “Well, Brenda, whadda Ya gonna do? You can either cry about it or laugh.” When he was around, I was laughing about it, because he had such an optimistic disposition.

So, when he started calling himself an old troll because of a skin tag here or there, it saddened me. He was no troll, in my eyes. He was my brother who had been so many things to me, during our life together.

The past two years, he began to change. He had mellowed out. As sick as he was, he enjoyed spending time with family. Especially with our baby sister — who the two of them had a very special connection, for which I was never envious, but glad — and her family, enjoying her swimming pool, sun bathing, wanting to be with her two little twin grandsons. He would visit our other brother and his family, and he would visit me. I began to see him as a true patriarch of the family. Caring deeply for each member. So much so, that it really did put me to shame. I had lost patience in some areas, but Ricky still hung in there, with a heart of love, whereas, mine was waxing cold, impatient, very little mercy flowing out of me. But Ricky, he was a type of plumb line for me.

I looked upon him with a sense of awe. He was changing, wanting to know about the things of God. He came to me for that and I was just real with him, telling him my failings, etc. explaining to him, I know I’m rotten to the core, and only Jesus makes me worth anything because of His work in the cross.

I had bought him a Bible years ago, but like so many people, he never liked to read, so if he ever read it, I don’t know. But, he would want to know what scripture had to say about certain things and the end times. He listened with eager ears as I read him parts of it. Then, we would discuss it.

He went from being apathetic and cold towards Israel, to curious, accepting, loving and watching it, as God’s time table for events in the world. He would call me asking what I thought about certain events. He went to work saying, “I think we are in the last days”. He was not parroting me, he really believed. Some listened to him in agreement and I could see it excited him.

I found myself trembling every time we got to talk about Biblical things! You see, many years ago, when we both were in the prime of our youth, full of strength and vitality, he was hostile even at the mere mention of God or the Bible. Contrary to what some of you may believe, I was never a “Bible Thumper”, carrying a Bible the size of a watermelon around on my hip, with one finger extended, crying out, “Repent, thou foul sinner!” Neither, was I one to think I was better than my brother. We both knew things about each other. We both knew the other had never been an angel. We had that much in common, thank God! He also knew I was not the same woman, he remembered as in our younger days.

He would mock me or ridicule me at times. I know brothers can be a pain in the butt that way, and sometimes a sister just has to suck it up. I tried to keep a low profile around him, hoping he wouldn’t notice me, but when our eyes met, I knew I was in for it, because mischievousness  twinkled in his eyes! However, sometimes, something in him would go to the extreme and at times, I found it very hurtful. I had done nothing to ever reject him or his friends, but something in him, had fun in doing it to me. Honestly? It was nothing more than demonic. It just made me love him more, as aggravated as I could get.

A month or so before his heart attack, he called to tell me he was watching some preacher on TV. My first inward reflex was, “Oh great. Wonder who THAT is. Now, I’m going to have to contend with a false teacher.”

I asked who it was and it was local. He told me what the sermon was about. He said it felt like it was being said to him. I don’t remember now what it was, but upon hearing it, I found it to be good not only for Ricky, but myself as well. So it gave us the opportunity to discuss God’s Word together.

Understand, he went from a man who had been hostile toward the things of God, to a man who in a quiet humble sort of way, was hungering and thirsting for truth. So much so, that one day, out of nowhere, he told me, “I’ve come to believe I was not born gay, but chose it.”

I gently agreed with him. He said as much as he had enjoyed life, he wished he could have done some things differently. I assured him, everybody can say that for themselves, I know I can.

I told him this about him being gay. Maybe not word for word, not all in one moment, but at one time or the other, as he was the one who always brought the subject up, not I: “God created you in His image, Ricky. He put certain traits, abilities, gifts, talents in you while you were still in Mom’s womb. He made you a sensitive little boy, not a sissy like others and myself teased, but one who was curious, adventurous, creative. Whereas you liked to learn to bake cookies and learning to sew, I would rather have been out playing G.I. Joe with the boys or climbing trees. I think this sometimes happens, Ricky. I think sometimes when God makes a little boy who is sensitive, etc., the devil sees it and comes to that little boy at a young age and whispers a lie in his little ears. The child, not knowing any better, begins to believe it. Shoot, Ricky, I wanted to please Dad so much, that I acted tough just so he would think I was strong, when all along I was really afraid.”

Example, Dad would tell Ricky and me that he would give a dime to whoever went out to the garage at night time to turn off the lights. I would do it, terrified of any boogie man that might be waiting. Ricky, on the other hand, would tell me, “It wasn’t worth a dime to me.” We laughed about that, even up to the last month of his life!

Ricky had become more gentle, patient, even edifying to me, as the things of the world were enraging me. Right before his heart attack, he had told me to let things go. As much as I wanted, I did not know how. Yet, admiring that thing in him, that truly was putting me to shame.

Ricky was a neat freak, a perfectionist. When he did a job, he did it well, with a type of professionalism, whether it was landscaping, painting, selling Home Interior, etc. That would spill over into his personal visits, when he would say things like, “Girl, when did you run the vacuumn cleaner last?” Or, “I can’t believe you haven’t washed your dishes.” Use to irratate the snot out of me and I would snap back, “Well, did you come to see me or the house?” Or, “If I had known you were coming, I would have hired a maid.” Brothers. You gotta love them.

But, he stopped doing that the past couple years. Something changed. Perhaps he saw I wasn’t feeling well, or perhaps his priorities were changing, taking more pleasure in just being around me, instead of finding fault.

I wasn’t the only one who noticed it. We all noticed it.

We talked about what it meant to be born again. About the deep things of God. I told him Salvation was quite simple, really. Man and religion make it a hard complex thing, when in reality it is desiring God to change who we are, knowing that we all are sinners and allowing and accepting what Jesus did for us on the Cross. Repentance meaning just  turning around, knowing we have been forgiven and allowing God to do the work in us, because we can’t.

The last month of his life, he mentioned something about maybe wanting to get baptized. He brought it up, not I. He spoke well of the young preacher he was watching and asked me to watch it with him on Sunday mornings, then he would call and we would discuss the sermon. Oh, how I loved those times. Forever precious to me.

I got to see what few people get to witness. I got to see an awesome God who knew everything about my brother, loved him throughout his life, even at the darkest of times and never once stopped loving him or gave up on him.

Therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance. — Matthew 3:8 —

I got to see those fruits. My brother may have thought he was nothing more than a “troll”, but God through His Spirit, changed him to a Saint.

Don’t give up on that loved one. If God can do this for my loved one, He can do it for you!










Man would rather go to jail than bake wedding cake for homosexuals


Guess what? I do not blame him. I would too. Does it make me a hater? I think not. It just means I may not have the same convictions as you and who is government or anyone to tell me how to run my business? Don’t ask me or worse, use some form of government control to sanction what we may disagree on. I do NOT want to use government control on anyone, other than liars, thieves, cheats, pedophiles, murderers, etc. If a person wants to be a homosexual, then be a homosexual. It is not my business. So don’t make it my business when you come to me demanding something.

I don’t know if it were two men or two women who came into the bakery, and I don’t care. For the sake of this article, I will use men as an example.

What if the man made the cake and the homosexuals began complaining out of vengeance, threatening to sue for one thing or another? They wanted pink roses and the roses came out a tad darker than they wanted. Or they wanted two groomsmen and the baker would have to go out of his way to find one? Maybe not everybody wants to go out of their way to appease someone else. Nor should they feel they have to. Then what? Stuff like that happens all the time. Someone — homosexual or not — always looking for a reason to sue because they got their feelings hurt or whatever. And if the man was forced to bake it, every homosexual within miles would be coming to him, once again using government to force him to do something he did not want to do. Some would come to him out of pure spite and nothing more. Yeah, I would go to jail first.  

Suppose the shoe was on the other foot? There are nudists camps where whole families go. Suppose one of the rules were, you have to be nude to enter. Suppose I said, “But, I’m a Christian and I want to keep my clothes on.” Does anyone think for one minute some judge would give me the right to go in there on my terms?

Or suppose there was an Atheist daycare center for children of Atheists who chose NOT to have their children around Christians for whatever reason they choose. It is their right. What if I as a Christian came in and demanded they gave me a job? No way it would happen.

Let’s say there was some holidayNO, I am NOT advocating such a thing, God forbid — called “bash a gay day“. And someone went into a bakery owned and run by homosexuals, and wanted them to bake a cake that advocated such a thing. Should the bakers be forced into baking it? Would it even happen? Are you kidding me? You know the answer to that.

Who the blank is this judge to even stick his nose in the matter?! He should have told the couple to go find another bakery or make their own cake! I’ve known enough homosexual men to know, there has to be a Betty Crocker somewhere in the mix.

The hypocrisy of the left amazes me. If anyone on the left can be for this and yet not want it done to them, then they are the biggest hypocrites on the earth. Once again, just keeping it real in an unreal world.

And puleeease, don’t come here trying to tell me I hate homosexuals. I have known quite a few in my lifetime, none of which would ever behave like two little cry babies running to government to order someone to bake them a flipping cake! They would have made their own dag blasted cake. And for the record, I have sat with an Aids patient more than once in the hospital when I thought he was dying changing his sweaty sheets every hour or so. The true haters have nothing on me. 


Apostate Rob Bell affirms Homosexuality


This is what happens when pastors and preachers all through America could not discern Rob Bell in the first place. When you can not discern something from the beginning, you end up having to deal with a greater delusion later on.

Would not surprise me one bit, if Rob Bell himself comes out at some point and says he is a homosexual. Does that make me judging? I’ve done said, I have known/know lots of homosexuals through my lifetime and loved each and everyone of them. But I dare not help them stay in the kingdom of darkness, by affirming them in their behavior.

Justin Hoke: Rob Bell in a clear demonstration of loving the world, affirms homosexuality. God can and does save homosexuals, but not apart from repentance. You cannot be homosexual and a Christian at the same time. Some Christians may struggle with homosexual sinful desires, but Bell is not saying any of this, rather he is boldly calling good what God has called sin.

“I believe God [is] pulling us ahead into greater and greater affirmation and acceptance of our gay brothers and sisters and pastors and friends and neighbors and coworkers,” former megachurch pastor and best-selling author Rob Bell explained just days after surprising the evangelical Christian community with his expressed support for same-sex marriage.

I have said this many times and will say it again: Not everyone is our sister and brother. What part of “you must be born – again” is it that these apostates do not get?

The former Mars Hill Bible Church founder and controversial Love Wins author told Odyssey Networks in an interview published Wednesday that many people are “realizing that God makes some of us one way and some of us another, and it can be a beautiful thing.”

If Rob Bell is referring to homosexuality here, and I believe he is, then he building an image of God that is not true. It is a lying anti-christ spirit. To call beautiful what God has called sin, is a lie from hell. 

The video interview, titled “Why Rob Bell Supports Gay Marriage,” comes just days after the Michigan church founder visited San Francisco’s Grace Cathedral (the Episcopal Cathedral of the Diocese of California) in a promotional book tour to discuss his purpose for writing What We Talk About When We Talk About God, his views on evangelical Christianity and future projects he has lined up.

During that event, Bell was asked about his stance on same-sex marriage and he explained that he was “for marriage.”

“I am for fidelity. I am for love, whether it’s a man and a woman, a woman and a woman, a man and a man. I think the ship has sailed and I think that the church needs to just … this is the world that we are living in and we need to affirm people wherever they are,” he responded.

Really? Would that I am for love thingy include being able to marry your dog, goat or pig?

What Rob Bell really wanted to say was, “I think the ship has sailed and I think that the church needs to just get on board.” Do we affirm others as well? 

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. — 1 Corinthians 6:9 – 11 —

Some observers expressed disappointment with Bell’s unorthodox view and found his remarks surprising, although the popular Christian author has expressed similar views in the past, previously calling gays and lesbians who identify as Christians “passionate disciples of Jesus.”

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Brad Williams, an Alabama-based Baptist pastor, denounced Bell’s comments, calling it “disconcerting for a Christian leader to say that the church should simply get in line with whatever the culture says.”

“… one thing the Christian cannot do is ask Scripture to take a back seat to cultural whims. That is what Bell is asking of us,” Williams wrote for Patheos.

“The universal church simply cannot follow Bell where he is going. The church has to be clear, and her leaders ought to be clear about the Bible’s teachings.”

Amid the criticism Bell has received, Brian McLaren, a friend of Bell’s and a well-known pastor specializing in post-evangelical thought who is also gay-affirming, has commended him for his “courageous” remarks.

“I think this is further evidence that we are reaching a tipping point in our culture where marriage equality will be seen in much of the way as the struggle for women’s equality and for civil rights now are seen as we look back in our history,” McLaren, who has been identified as part of the controversial emergent church, said in a video interview also with Odyssey Networks. “It takes courage to make these kinds of statements when you’re an author and speaker as Rob and I are, but it’s especially painful for pastors and priests to work this out in the midst of pastoral ministry.”

Liar. No, it does not take courage. All one needs is compromise. It takes courage to stand for the truth.

In his new book, What We Talk About When We Talk About God, Bell shares his take on how some theological ideas present in mainstream Christianity are outdated and irrelevant to the changing times – and that God is in many ways steps ahead of these old ideas and is pulling people forward.

Out right apostacy! The Word of God says: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Do not be carried about with various and strange doctrines. For it is good that the heart be established by grace, … — Hebrews 13:8,9 —

Who is Rob Bell to change the word of God?

“A lot of people when they say, ‘By God ahead do you mean by same-sex marriage?’ – Yes,” Bell said in his March 20 interview.

“We live in a world where we have friends, neighbors, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, people we journey with for years who are gay. And we need to love, affirm and all of us together work on the real problems that we have in the world. And I think that’s one of the things you’re seeing now, is you’re seeing God pull us all forward into a greater realization that we need more love, we need more fidelity, we need more monogamy, we need more people who are committed to each other.”

But no! We need more people who are committed to God, more committed to the truth!

“So this is a huge moment when I think lots of us are realizing that the old way of seeing things doesn’t work,” he added. “It causes so much pain and heartache and God’s inviting us to see things in new ways and we need to say ‘yes’ and then we need to step into the future together.”

Rob Bell and those who follow him, are of an anti-christ spirit. He is leading countless thousands right into the bowels of hell.

Bell also shared that he believes technology has played a major part in the shifting of many long-held views, saying that the Internet in particular has shown that people cannot live in their own “tribal bubbles” or “cocooned off” from the real world.

He added, “What happens when you are all suddenly exposed to thousands of different viewpoints is it can call your own into question and it can have this refining fire dimension to it when you realize that ‘wow, I’ve been living with a bunch of views and perspectives that don’t actually work and don’t actually bring life. So I need to be honest about that.’ And that can be painful, but it’s also liberating and that’s where the life is.”

What he is saying, is, it is ok to compromise the truth for the sake of getting something to work.

Bell, who left the Michigan congregation he founded in 1999 to move to California last year, is currently on a promotional tour for What We Talk About When We Talk About God. The former pastor, whose best-selling Love Wins book challenged traditional teachings on a literal, eternal hell and belief in Jesus Christ as a prerequisite for heaven, has also shared that he is developing a faith-inspired television show with “Lost” series creator Carlton Cuse.

And Jesus answered and said to them: “Take heed that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. — Matthew 24: 4,5 —

The TV Series “The Bible” left this out: Homosexuality and the Consequence of Lot’s Sin

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UPDATE NOTE: Below, I gave the impression that Lot actually threw his daughters out among the men who were desiring to rape the angels. I just noticed, it says, Lot, “shut the door behind him… See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish;…” It appears I may have been wrong to say he actually threw them out. “…he shut the door behind him…” It does not go on to say that the men raped or went on to have their way with his daughters. Still, I stand behind what I said later about his daughters. For them to behave the way they did toward their father, could have something to do with the way he was ready to throw them out to be sexually molested. I’ll try to clear this up at a latter point. I am sorry for misrepresenting the Word.

Two loved ones have asked me about the TV Bible series. If I knew anything about it. How true is it. I could only tell them what I was familiar with at the time. That would be the series version of Lot leaving Sodom. Hollywood left out a few things. I will clear that up for the sake of my loved ones and anyone else who is interested.

Since then, I have been able to see many other things wrong with this Bible series. If you are interested in The Bible, please, just read it. Do not depend upon a movie to tell you the truth. They create a false Jesus to follow. They twist many things and they never present the full truth. Satan will ALWAYS mix a little truth in something, just to get us to swallow a lie. Do not be taken in by the newest thing even if the whole world is following it.

Following: — Genesis 19:1-11 —

Now the two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them, and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground. And he said, “Here now, my lords, please turn in to your servant’s house and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.”

I don’t want to read more into something that is not there, however it seems here, that as welcoming as Lot was to the angels, he was wanting them to leave as soon as possible. If so, what possibly could be his reasons? Could it be because he was embarrassed of the city he lived in? Could it be he knew the strangers/angels would be a target for wickedness?

And they said, “No, but we will spend the night in the open square.”

But he insisted strongly; so they turned in to him and entered his house. Then he made them a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate.

Now before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both old and young, all the people from every quarter, surrounded the house.  And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them carnally.”

Leaving this out is deceptive on many levels. So, let’s just cut through the smoke screens, shall we? The men who surrounded the house, trying to get in were homosexuals. No way of getting round that, it is what it is. Those homosexuals wanted to rape who they thought were mere men. They did not know they were angels of God sent to bring not only their judgment, but the whole city.

So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him, and said, “Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly! See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof.”

The act of appeasement and hypocrisy of Lot here is unbelievable! He called these men brothers. I would just bet they mocked and laughed their heads off. Then he goes on to tell them not to do an act of wickedness while he throws his daughters out to be raped by them! What father could do such a thing?! The Bible says that “Lot vexed his soul” by the wickedness around him. It made him sick. I have wondered over the years why then did he just not pack up his tent and belongings and get the heck out of there? I am almost certain somewhere along the line, he saw some kind of pay off for himself and his family by staying there. We can speculate on that another time.

And they said, “Stand back!” Then they said, “This one came in to stay here, and he keeps acting as a judge; now we will deal worse with you than with them.” So they pressed hard against the man Lot, and came near to break down the door. But the men reached out their hands and pulled Lot into the house with them, and shut the door. And they struck the men who were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they became weary trying to find the door.

What do you know? The homosexuals did mock him. Not only that, but Lot got a nice little taste of what it felt like to be one of his daughters!

No sword fighting the way the series portray. I found this obscene that they portrayed angels in this way. I do not think angels are some cutsey little cherubs with curly blonde hair, holding a bow and arrow, wearing a little diaper. But neither do I believe angels are sneering beady eye goulish blood thirsty creatures who behave as if they have an agenda of their very own.

For time sake, I will move on to the end of chapter 19. But, in a nutshell, before we get there, Lot leaves, his wife turns to salt for looking back and Lot being too afraid to run to the mountains like the angel says, begs the angel to let him flee to a little city called Zoar. The angel lets him. God destroys Sodom.

The following is what I consider the consequences of Lot’s sin of throwing his daughters out to the Sodomites.

Then Lot went up out of Zoar and dwelt in the mountains, and his two daughters were with him; for he was afraid to dwell in Zoar. And he and his two daughters dwelt in a cave.

Remember, he begged the angel to let him live in this little city and now he is living in a cave becasue he is afraid. Looks to me like it would have been better to have done what God wanted him to do in the first place, which was to flee to the mountains. This is just an example of what sometimes happens when we do things our way.

Now the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man on the earth to come in to us as is the custom of all the earth. Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.” So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

It happened on the next day that the firstborn said to the younger, “Indeed I lay with my father last night; let us make him drink wine tonight also, and you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve the lineage of our father.” Then they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

Lot’s two daughters got their father drunk and then had intercourse with him. How sick is that? Pretty darn sick, if you ask me. I believe it was a result of being raised in a city where their father knew was ungodly and profane. I think him throwing them out to a bunch of perverts had something to do with it too.

Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father. The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day. And the younger, she also bore a son and called his name Ben-Ammi; he is the father of the people of Ammon to this day. — Genesis 19:30-38 —

The consequence was not good. These children who were born, later were to become nations who were the enemies of Israel, bringing false gods upon the earth.

What’s Wrong with the Queen James?


Appreciation goes out to ontheway who brought the new Queen James “bible” to my attention. I thought I had been aware of it, but I had not. I suppose it is a good thing I have not known until now. Though it still sickens me, I’m kind of getting used to the fact that everything is becoming one big lie and deception to deceive all of humanity. Learning that the past few weeks has made me less angry and more willing to just go forth in truth. We are at war between good and evil, truth and lies. I am doing my best by the grace of God within me to not let the evil overcome me through my own rage against the filth and lies covering the earth.

Before the true haters come here accusing me of hate, I will ask, how many times have you sat with a loved one with AIDS in a hospital, helping to change their sweat soaked sheets, sitting quietly by their bed not knowing if they were going to live or die? Deeply loving them, desiring them to live and then thanking God when He showed mercy when He brought your loved one home. Your accusations mean nothing to me. Don’t dare come here and accuse me of “hate.” True hate is desiring to see others stay in the same bondage you are in just because it feels good to you and you do not want to be alone in your bondage.

I can’t really add anything to the following. It speaks for itself.